Headwind

The beach stretches out for miles upon miles. 
The waves rhythmically kiss the sand. 
The white puffy clouds appear mid-day, after the fog dissipates. 
It's idyllic for "spring break."

Now is the time to catch up on sleep.
Now is the time to renew my deeper spirituality, tucking into my favorite book by Thomas Merton.
Now is the time to laugh out loud at some non-theological treatises.

And, as we all know, when we slow down is when the worry-brain kicks in.  Yep, I worry about what God has in mind for me.  I've gotten about a half-dozen "no" responses to parish opportunities, plus a few "we put the process on hold."  What to do?

"You kids get outside!" I hear Mom-of-my-childhood screaming.
Or more colloquially, "when in doubt, get out!" 
So it's road biking that calls.  It's mostly flat out here on the Outer Banks, with the ocean on one side and the sound on the other.  It's beautiful and I feel invigorated by the wind in my helmet.  I have to really concentrate on the road - there's sand in the shoulder, pebbles of gravel at the intersections, and dangerously blind driveways that punctuate an otherwise peaceful bike ride.  Wonders await us at the turnaround point - a historic village, an antique bridge, even a pure white egret. Ahhhh, this is peaceful.

Return ride? Headwind all the way.  Same distance, but it feels like twice as far.  I practice standing on the pedals for extra effort to try and keep up with my partner. I notice the rusty nails strewn on the road - which I flew past on the way out.  It seems so windy I can't even hear myself gasping for breath most of the way.

It occurs to me that my first-parish-call search is a bit like this bike ride.  Exhilarating, renewing and in need of discipline on the one hand - but it feels like headwinds right now.  That's okay, I consider, it's a spiritual cycle that is familiar to me.  It's still hard, but it's a cycle and surely, God's just waiting for some big surprise to offer!

So, I offer this old Irish blessing, in gratitude, for this cycle~

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of God's hand.