Accountability

One of my learning goals this quarter is to connect more deeply with staff. "Be careful what you pray for!" I hear ringing in my ears.

One of my favorite unit secretaries is now asking me to help her with scripture passages. That's funny - she's asking me? Perhaps that's why I'm on her floor - to meet her in scripture discussions.

It's really humbling (or humiliating?), though. Usually I can't understand her for her accent, or for the the din of the fax/copier humming and the constant beeping of monitors exclaiming that infusions are complete or heart rates of patients have exceeded pre-set limits. Besides all that, I also usually don't understand the meaning of her question.

The other day she asked me about Lazarus. Was Lazarus in Luke 16, the one in the parable about the rich man, the same one that Jesus raised from the dead in John 11? And was that the same Lazarus who sup'd with Martha and Mary, who anointed Jesus in John 12? In true CPE fashion, I attempted to divert the question and try to understand her side of these teachings. I am pretty sure that she saw right through me. Argh.

Now, after this Lazarus question, she has begun asking me about Jonah. (Isn't that the guy and the fish?) So it is a constant facing of this, my favorite unit secretary, that is challenging me to "get to know the staff."

Now I realize that she's my favorite BECAUSE she challenges me. BECAUSE she asks the questions. BECAUSE she is in conversation with me. She's tough. And I love her.
"Instead of claiming to know what God says, ask questions of one another, such as 'How do we understand God in this?' But don't go around pretending to know it all, saying 'God told me this...God told me that....' I don't want to hear it anymore. Only the person I authorize speaks for me. Otherwise, my Message gets twisted, the Message of the living God-of-the-Angel-Armies. - Jeremiah 23:35-36 (The Message)

Who might be holding you accountable in this moment?