Thursday, June 7, 2012

Now. Now. Now.

My blog is called "Showing Up To The Moment" because so often I struggle to do so.

Sometimes, I'm not "here." I regret not being "there" or look forward to being "somewhere else."  This spiritual practice of blogging calls me back here. Now.  What is in this moment that speaks to me? That repulses me? That infuses me? What is happening now?

In preparing for my ordination, I reflected on my sister's blessing, offered at a phone call's end.  One of us says, "well, I need to go now" and the other offers, "Okay, be free!"  It's a paradox that we enjoy chatting on the phone but feel drawn to be somewhere else. That is how ordination feels - I want to be here, in conversation, now, and also want to be moving, on a journey, following Jesus. 

This hymn from the Episcopal Hymnal 1982 captured, for me, this powerful paradox of being in the moment and also being on a journey.  The hymn, called "Now the silence," was written by Jaroslav J. Vajda.  In descriptive hymn's bio with the tune playing in the background, Vajda summarizes how we, sel­dom come with a buck­et large enough to catch all the show­er of grace that comes to us in that set­ting. Here is a link to a YouTube video of a parish choir singing the hymn in a soft jazz setting.

333. Now the silence Now the peace

Now the silence
Now the peace
Now the empty hands uplifted
Now the kneeling
Now the plea
Now the Fathers' arms in welcome
Now the hearing
Now the power
Now the vessel brimmed for pouring
Now the Body
Now the Blood
Now the joyful celebration
Now the wedding
Now the songs
Now the heart forgiven leaping
Now the Spirit's visitation
Now the Son's epiphany
Now the Father's blessing

I'm showing up, in this moment, now now now, with God's help.

Welcome to the journey.

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